An open letter to my daughters Ellisyn Cate and Gracyn Claire,

I know I drive you bananas when I constantly move things around in your room. You would rather have a Taylor Swift poster scotch taped to the wall instead of some inspirational quote that reminds you to “be the change you wish to see in the world.” I get it. Or at least I promise you I’m trying to…maybe just as hard as you did covering up the slime stain you hoped I would never find.

But there is one little framed faded pink one that I most likely will tuck into your packed car as you head to college that says this:

“I saw you always”.

You see, as you get older you will likely hear chapters of my story and some will bring you lots of laughter and fuzzy feels like the bun bun and monkey friends you have cuddled up to since your first days in this world. Others may make you sad at first, and maybe bring about an icky feeling to your tummy because you know it was probably something tough your mama faced.

But you know what? Your mama is tough too.

There were times I didn’t always feel that way and times that I still don’t-especially as a parent. I second guess whether I am doing the job I always envisioned for you and your brother and hope that even though I will make my fair share of mistakes, that we both never lose sight of the fact that I will forever be trying…be learning and growing alongside of you. You’re learning how it feels to be a 10.5 year old girl in this world as it is all new to you. You’re in that kinda awkward not quite a teen yet, but also not the little toddlers I dressed in matching outfits that only another mama to twins could appreciate. I know it seems like I have all the answers..but here is a little secret, I really don’t. I also have never had two ten year old girls before so I am learning at the same time you are.

My promise to you as we all create the chapters in our own unique stories is that I will always support you. I will always have your back. I promise to also challenge you to sometimes take the road less traveled in hope of finding the path meant for YOU…even though it might be painful at times. I will be your biggest cheerleader in the room-you know how loud I can be-but also take a step aside when you need to shine in the spotlight on your own and figure it out your way. Just because I may not always be there to hold your hand like in the days when you took your first steps doesn’t mean I am not forever beside you-even if you fall. We all have bruises and scars-from a wreck on your bike to a divorce from your dad…it’s accepting them first and embracing them to follow as the ink in which that chapter of your story was formed. It’s ok if it was not in pencil…maybe some things aren’t meant to be erased.

YOU were always supposed to be a beautiful part to mine…and I know that always.

All my love,

Your mama